


i built a friend pt.1

by ranenbyboo



Series: i built a friend (unfinished) [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drunk Driving, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Breakdown, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Underage Drinking, Underage Substance Use, Wilbur Soot is Not Okay, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28704276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranenbyboo/pseuds/ranenbyboo
Summary: (warnings in the tags, please lmk if any more are needed)(chapters have their own summaries and warnings)(betad by my friends and gf idk if youre reading but hello)wilbur is nearly 17, and he decides he wants to give his younger brothers some advice on growing up. needless to say, this does not end well.
Series: i built a friend (unfinished) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114028
Comments: 8
Kudos: 89





	1. authors note!

the lowercase is deliberate, so please dont read if thats a problem. dates/acronyms eg. December or SBI will be capitalized but nothing else much unless for comedic affect.

most of this is me projecting onto wilbur and tommy, sorry if i neglect the others a bit :(

phil is the dad, techno and wilbur are fraternal twins, tommy and tubbo similar in age. tommy, wilbur, techno and phil are related, tubbo is adopted (unrelated, might make a prequel)

wilbur and schlatt are friends, i wrote my version of schlatt based on his persona

most of this is probably OOC!

the chapters are set out as video tapes from a camcorder


	2. tape 1 - December 23rd 2009

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tommy is watching old family videos when he should be sleeping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: festive season, food mention, non destructive fire mention

> video over

> replay? [yes] no

> restarting....

"its chrismas the 23rd 2009 and dad just lit the apple candles-"

"tommy please be careful before you break something"

"but wilby..."

"give my camera back child"

"but the candles make rainbows in the camera!" tommy tried his best to hold his tears back as he watched the bright LED screen of the old camcorder wilbur had received for his and techno's 12th birthday. it seemed like so long ago, and now here he was, crying onto the screen over a video taken when he had somehow snuck into his brother's room on Christmas. he remembers how he had almost melted the camera from putting it too close to the candles that were on the mantle piece. 

wilbur's 13 year old face appeared on screen. "anyways as tommy said its december and its the 23rd so we're about to watch our favourite film of all time, home alone!"

"can i have a turn now?" tubbos voice rang out from the speakers

"shut up tubbo wilby promised i could film dad making the popcorn"

the video ended with wilbur laughing at the two play fighting, with a sigh from techno off camera. he quickly shut off the video as he heard tubbo move in his bed across the room from him. tommy looked at the time on his phone, 4:53am. he should have been asleep ages ago but he needed to watch the december 23rd video just a few more times before he went to sleep.


	3. tape 2 - September  5th 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first day of school!

> video select

> play: clip [ 1 ] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

> playing.....

......

Wilbur's sitting in his room with his lamp illuminating his face, hes wearing patchwork pyjamas that tubbo made for him 

"hey tommy and tubbo, its me! your brother! you know that, you know me, anyways, i made these videos to show you what its like 9 days before you turn 17. its currently 4:22am on September 5th, 2012. i tried to get techno in on this and i very much failed and he told me to go do some rather vulgar things. oh god, dad is going to be furious that im waking up so late. anyways, day: 1!"

-

"wilbur, tommy, tubbo, breakfast!" phil shouted up the stairs, 7:32am, same time on the dot every day. today was pancakes and blueberries. first day of term treat for the youngest two members of the family.

techno was already sat at the table, as tommy and tubbo thundered down the stairs to beat eachother to the table. 

"i beat you, loser!" tommy grinned, smug about having beaten tubbo to the table. tubbo cradled his arm where tommy had shoved him

"dad he pushed me and it really hurt!"

"aw, come on put some ice on it, you'll be fine by the time i have the pancakes on your plate." 

tubbo got the ice block from the freezer, wrapped it in a tea towel and sat back down, holding the package to his arm.

"wilbur! breakfast!" phil shouted again. techno rolled his eyes.

"he was probably up talking to his friends again". techno was very disapproving of his twin brother talking to his friends at ungodly hours. techno also disapproved of tommy being allowed to eat sweets when he was sad and tubbo being allowed to practice piano loudly in the evening. 

wilbur finally strolled down the stairs, bags under his eyes and hair messy. 

"sorry dad, i couldn't sleep, i have intro classes for my new subjects and im really nervous."

"you could have just told me if you were that worried, i can assure you it is not as terrible as it sounds". 

tommy lit up when he saw his oldest brother, and waited for his brother to finish speaking before he ran to give him a tackle-hug.

"wilby!" the young boy squealed the nickname that had stuck since a mispronunciation as a baby.

"morning tommy" wilbur wheezed as he was squeezed half to death, "could you maybe not kill me before school?"

...

.....

> clip end


	4. tape 3 - September 6th 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a day in the woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: characters are in a forest, breif bugs mentions, breif food mention

> video select

> play: clip 1 [ 2 ] 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

> playing.......

.....

wilburs sitting in someone's kitchen, hes wearing dark clothes and his coat.

"hey tommy and tubbo! its currently 8:22pm September 6th, i forgot to film the start today so ill probably edit this on my computer then put it back on my camera, schlatt will probably help with that, god hes a great friend. yeah, i really hope you find a friend whos like that for you, they'll teach you how to edit but they'll put you in mortal danger!" 

[offscreen] "bahaha, are you doing that video thing you told me about for your stupid kid brothers?"

"yeah, dont call my brothers stupid"

[offscreen] " (sigh) loser, anyways ill be in the car"

"ill be right out (pause, offscreen leaves) anyways, uh, enjoy day 2!"

-

techno swiped at the gnats in the late summer air. it was about 6pm and tommy, tubbo, techno and wilbur were all taking a walk through the forest while phil made dinner.

"are you sure this is the right way?" techno was tired and hungry and badly needed some insect bite cream

"im sure, dont stress about it"

"wilby can we please sit down?"

"we dont need to, trust me". 

tommy and tubbo were picking bluebells as they walked. tubbo always had a tiny vase filled with bluebells on his windowsil so he could open his window and watch bees come in. the vase had been a gift from their grandmother, and tommys equivalent was a small glass jar which he used to collect small rocks hed found while picking bluebells with tubbo. 

the four of them walked for a good half hour before arriving at their destination. it was a picturesque scene, a campfire with log benches.

"take a seat! i need to show you a song i just finished"

the three on the bench watched as wilburs fingers flew across the strings, playing a familiar tune that had been floating around the house for a few weeks now. 

as the chords progressed, words flew out of wilburs mouth, intertwining with the flurrying notes. tommy recognised this as Saline Solution, a song wilbur had written about a month ago and had been practicing to perfection. he refused to tell the boy where he had tbe idea for the song from, claiming he would "understand when he's older". 

by the second verse tommy was already fixated on the words. he didn't understand the meaning but he knew it was a sad one. 

as the song ended, wilbur received a standing ovation from his brothers and some nearby hikers who had stopped to listen. technoblade then decided it was far too cold to remain outside, starting a game of tag as a ploy to run back home.

that evening - after dinner - tommy and tubbo sat at their bedroom window which faced the woods they had just been in. the blonde decided to attempt to replicate the song wilbur had played for them on the ukulele, tubbo joining in. the two made an honest attempt, only stopping when phil arrived to read them a story before bed.

tommy decided that he would learn guitar so he would be able to play songs like his older brother. he also decided that the woods were now his favourite place.

...

......

> clip end


	5. tape 4 - September 9th 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> school is getting too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: implied underage drug/alcohol misuse

> video select

> play: clip 1 2 3 4 [ 5 ] 6 7 8 9 10

> playing....... 

....

wilbur looked tired. his hair was unkempt and he looked nervous. 

"hey, hey guys, day 5, uh, i was hoping this would go maybe a little better but oh well. i told myself i would film every day until my birthday but schools just, alot. i hope youre doing better than i am, and not hiding the fact that youre getting kicked out of college. anyway, uh, good luck, im sorry"

-

tommy and tubbo were sat at the table when wilbur stumbled through the door. he headed straight to the sink, filling a glass of water and chugging it. then the smell hit, a strong smell, neither of them recognised it. 

"wilby, why do you smell like that?" wilburs head shot up, his face grim. 

"its, uh, its nothing, just keep quiet okay?"

"okay". tommy wasnt sure. he didnt like being quiet, it wasnt something he was good at. tubbo saw his concerned expression.

"tom you know hes okay, wilbur doesnt lie to us! its probably a new spray he uses to not smell like dad's socks"

"okay, if you say so". 

-

...

....

> clip end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tommy and tubbo dont know what alcohol smells like.


	6. tape 5 - September 10th 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a breaking point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: arguments, alcohol misuse mention, suicide attempt mention, shouting (represented by all caps), nausea.
> 
> this is bad, and i dont like it, but its part of the story so im posting it.

> video select

> play: clip 1 2 3 4 5 [ 6 ] 7 8 9 10

> playing.......

....

"hey you two, i was probably exaggerating yesterday, i feel alot better and i dont think dad knows or if he does he doesnt mind. hey, what can i say, im basically an adult and i can do whatever. anyway, enjoy day 6!"

phil held the letter in his hand, knocking on the door and waiting for wilbur to respond.

"come in" the boy shouted, looking up from his notepad. 

"hey buddy, hows everything going at college? hows the music course?" wilbur shifted uncomfortably in his seat

"everythings,,fine. just great, dad"

phil makes solid eye contact with wilbur.

wilburs face drains. "lots of work, lots of classes, im busy!"

phil looks stern, glancing at the letter then back at his son.

"really, dad, ive almost got the progression for my-"

"why do you always stink of alcohol when you get home"

the room goes silent. the pair can hear tommy and tubbo playing knights in the garden.

"uh, well, i got a job at this-" Phil cuts him off, now raising his voice.

"your college just sent me a letter saying you havent been in any of your lessons. wilbur, whats going on?"

"what the fuck is your problem, so what? you know i never wanted to go to fucking college anyway, leave me the fuck alone!" wilbur stands up, taking an aggressive stance and shouting at his dad. "i have tried to go, ive tried to focus in lessons, it isnt my thing, dad! being with my friends is my thing, hanging around with schlatt is my thing, i dont give a fuck if i lose my place, i hate everything about that place!"

phil slams his sons door, hed never felt more worried and angry.

"wilbur you should have talked to me! i am here to listen to you! you know what ive been telling you about that schlatt character, hes going to get you in trouble! i knew that i should have told you to stay away from him the moment you first asked to go to his house"

"dad, shut the fuck up, you know schlatt has helped me through so much, he talked me down that Halloween his parents took us to Manchester and he found me by the tracks when i tried to-"

"i dont want you hanging around him! you will go to college and you will go to all of your lessons and if you miss one i will pull you out myself!"

"DAD, SHUT THE FUCK UP" wilbur was breathless. "i dont want to go back to college, i never want to go to a lesson again, leave me the fuck alone!"

"wilbur i just want to do the best thing for you-" Phil tried to reason with his son, only to be cut off.

"NO YOU FUCKING DONT! if you wanted to do the best thing for me then you would leave me the fuck alone!"

"fine. ill leave you to calm down and when you are calm we can have a proper discussion about how you will make up for your college work" 

wilbur couldnt take it. he broke down, curling in on himself, and seemed inconsolable. phil heard a knock at the door, opening it to find a scared-looking tommy

"dad, whats going on?"

"nothing, son. lets leave wilby to calm down"

"but dad, wilby needs his blue!"

"not now, tommy." wilbur looked up from his collapsed position.

"dad its fine just, tommy! hey buddy im okay, see?" wilbur faked a smile, standing up and walking over, taking Tommy's hand. "look! im happy! im all okay!". wilburs eyes were puffy and his cheeks stained with tear tracks. he was trying his best to prevent his brother from beinf worried or upset, but he was failing as he could see tommy had watery eyes and was clenching his fists so hard in anger that his knuckles where paper-white.

"but, but you were crying so much-" tommy drew away from wilbur, concerned.

"im okay now, tommy! ill be okay. i was feeling sad but im not anymore!". tommy wasnt convinced. 

"im going to, um, go back to playing with tubbo now, but first" tommy reached into his pocket, bringing out a blue sweet wrapped in clear plastic, "have some blue!" the boy ran down the stairs and back out to the garden, going back to playing nights with tubbo who had been watching a bee collect pollen from a flower.

...

......

> clip end

-

tommy felt bile rise in his throat. he didnt know if he wanted to play the next clip. he didnt didnt realise at the time but wilbur was breaking from the inside out. he had been sneaking out and tommy was staying up to make sure wilbur got home and was alive. his teachers would ask why he was so tired, and he would reply that he was having nightmares, or that the road they lived by was too noisy, or that-

he couldn't remember. he didnt want to remember how wilby would stumble through the door smelling of something strange every night. he didnt want to remember how the brother he had always looked up to was on a path of self destruction. he pressed play on the next clip.

-

> video select

> play: clip 1 2 3 4 5 6 [ 7 ] 8 9 10

> playing....... 

....

"i fucked up, oh god ive really fucked up. i just want everything to be normal, i just want to be able to sleep at night, i just want to be okay.

...

....

> clip end


	7. tape 6 - September 11th 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> schlatt comes over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: breif alcohol mention and self harm implication
> 
> i do not dislike schlatt, this is just an interpretation of a mix of his persona and his dream smp character.

> video select

> play: clip 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 [ 8 ] 9 10

> playing.......

....

"ive decided that im going to not do the birthday series anymore because i have decided i do not want to ever remember this birthday. i dont know how ill acheive that but somehow i guess, im sorry."

-

"dad, where's wilby?" tommy was sat at the table. he had made up his mind that he would wait for his older brother to get downstairs before he ate.

"hes probably still asleep, son. eat up, you dont want to be late"

"but i dont want wilby to be lonely at breakfast!" phil, who was looking through the day's mail, knew he would be fighting a losing battle if he pushed his son to eat now, so he instead set about getting tubbo ready to leave for school and making sure techno didnt leave the house without his pencil case.

the young boy sat in silence for a minute, when suddenly he heard footsteps on the stairs. tommy's head shot up just as wilbur stepped into the kitchen. 

"morning wilby!"

"good morning, buddy, whats for breakfast today?"

"chocolate cheerios, dad forgot to get the honey ones again"

"awh, im sure he'll be able to get some for tomorrow" wilbur's eyes were red and puffy, tommy noticed this. he also noticed that wilbur had ink all over his hands, and that he was moving like he had papercuts all over his arms.

"wilby, i dont think im going to go to school today" tommy had come to the conclusion that he wasnt going to leave wilbur's side all day. he was worried and confused at why the blue hadnt taken all his sadness away.

wilbur sighed, tired and upset by the previous evening's events.

"you need to go to school tommy, who's going to help tubbo with maths and whos tubbo going to help in science if you arent there?"

"tubbo can stay too, and techno, we can all stay and we wont have to be alone and we'll all be okay". at this point wilbur wasnt in the mood to argue with his brother as to whether or not he should go to school.

"well, techno and tubbo might want to go to school, so maybe we can just ask dad if you can stay home". tommy didnt look sure but he didnt want to argue with his brother, not after yesterday. 

techno walked into the kitchen, swiftly exiting the house shouting a farewell behind him, followed by an exasperated phil who was carrying tubbo's backpack, trying to stuff a leaky waterbottle into a clearly undersized side pocket.

"dad, can-"

"not now will, give me a second to get tubbo and tommys bags into the car" 

"dad its important, tommy isnt feeling well". phil stopped in his tracks, walking over to tommy and discarding the bag and bottle onto the table.

"whats wrong now, son?" phil felt at tommy's forehead, he did have a slight temperature and he definitely looked pale.

"i feel ill, dad. i dont think i can do to school". phil gave a skeptical glance.

"if this is because of yesterday-"

tommy panicked, eyes widening as he realised his dad was seeing through his plan.

"no really, i dont feel well," he coughed, "i started feeling bad yesterday i really am ill!". he coughed a few more times for affect.

tommy and wilbur sat on the sofa watching adventure time. it was the family favorite, and the five of them would always get fish and chips whenever a new episode came out. it was an episode where, as usual, finn and jake were having extraordinary adventures with gnomes, giants, and talking confectionery.

tommy was engrossed in the telly while wilbur got squash for the both of them when the doorbell rang. a voice could be heard over the adventure time outro music. it was almost as if the voice was calling for wilbur. which it was.

wilbur opened the door for the voice.

"hey! where have you been bro, i didnt see you at all yesterday and i missed you so much!" it was the voice, but clearer, and sounded alot like wilburs friend....

"schlatt! hi!" wilbur exclaimed, "sorry man ive just, my dad found out about college and slightly isnt letting me leave the house anymore.".

tommy walked towards the commotion, and saw wilbur talking with someone who looked like he could be an old american president and someone whos wanted for making their own alcohol at the same time.

"wilby," tommy said apprehensively, "whos that?"

"tommy, this is my best friend schlatt, schlatt, this is my little brother tommy!". schlatt looked like the kind of person you would find working at McDonald's but was convinced they were about to find their "big break". he was wearing a floral print shirt over a college tee with the most faded jeans tommy had ever seen. his crocs, or what was left of them, were an ugly mud brown and he had black socks that seemed to be on their last legs. the most disturbing thing, in Tommy's eyes was the puka shell bracelet around schlatts left wrist and the singular earring on his right ear.

one thing tommy noticed about schlatt was the pin on his shirt. it was the face of Renee, from the Adventures of Renee Ram and Karl Cat, the same one that tubbo watched every day and had multiple plushies of. it was about Renee the Ram, a small, plucky ram who lives in a country called the badlands, run by a fallen angel named Halo. Renee's best friend is a cat who goes by the name Karl. the two are the best of friends, and go on amazing adventures with all their magical and mystical friends. 

"hold on, wait a minute, did the kid just call you...'wilby'?" it seemed as though schlatt was holding back an eruption of laughter.

"yes, schlatt, its a nickname. a term of endearment" wilbur knew schlatt would never let this go. 

"awww is wilby embarrased? oh no, is wilby gonna cry?" wilbur was red in the face, staring at the floorboards, wishing schlatt would shut up. tommy was confused, why was wilburs best friend making fun of him? was this how friendship was supposed to be?

"sorry, im just kidding, ill stop," schlatt walked over to tommy and crouched to his height, ruffling the young boys hair, "hi, nice to meet you tommy" schlatt extended his hand, offering a handshake to tommy which he accepted as he watched wilbur walk to the kitchen again.

"its nice to meet you too schlatt, me and wilby are watching adventure time because im too ill to go to school today". Tommy went back to where he was sitting, on the floor with his back to the sofa. 

wilbur left the kitchen holding an apple juice carton, a glass of squash and a glass of water, handing the juice to tommy and the water to schlatt who was now seated on one of the two armchairs on either side of the sofa.

"wil i have a drink-"

"not around tommy, and not in the house. my dads gonna kill me if he even thinks he smells alcohol"

"oh, he caught on, huh," schlatt sipped at the water, "i guess its best i dont drive home drunk in this weather.". schlatt was right. the clouds were a dark grey, and although there was no rain tommy could tell that a storm was headed their way. 

"i thought the forecast was sunny for the next week" wilbur sounded disappointed.

"nah, weather's turned. you wanna change Thursday's plans?"

"lets just see if the weather clears by then, hopefully it does."

-

..

....

> clip end


	8. tape 7 - September 13th 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the day before the party!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// suicidal ideation  
> cw// food
> 
> stay safe, this is ranting.

September 13th 2012

> video select

> play: clip 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 [ 10 ]

> playing...... 

....

wilbur looked the worst tommy had ever seen him. he had massive bags under his eyes and it was almost as if he was pretending to be a panda.

"im probably never going to let anyone see this if i can fucking help it, im sorry, i don't know i just feel like noone would care and that if anyone ever sees this theyre going to use it against me and call me attention seeking and stupid, im sorry. im just sorry. ive told schlatt about everything, the fucking truth. i also told him my plan, he agreed to help. i think he hopes the same will happen to him. im going to try and write something so dad and techno know they couldnt have done anything, if i dont then i just hope they know. i hope tommy and tubbo never see this, that would fucking be the worst thing. i hope noone ever finds this. and if you sre seeing this youre probably tommy, you probably should be asleep. go to bed, child."

-

phil, tommy and tubbo had been at asda all day buying things for wilbur and technos birthday. in the morning the twins had been sent off to their friends houses for a sleepover. phil had made the mistake of not asking where they were going, only giving them the instruction to be home by 8:45. by the time the party planners had gotten home it was 5pm. they all began cooking and preparing the kitchen for the next day 

tommy was on sandwich making duty, tubbo was on sausage rolls and mini pizza duty, and phil was making cupcakes and one big cake. they worked through til 10pm. they had the living room and dining room decorated and tommy and tubbo were falling asleep on their feet.

"come on you two, up to bed". phil was aware the two would have to sleep now if they wanted to be up by the time their brothers got home. the two protested and begged their dad to let them stay up just long enough to watch one episode of Adventure Time.

"dad please we just want to watch one episode"

"we arent going to sleep longer than we have to dad we know when to wake up"

phil sighed. in the past he would have put his foot down, but right now he had more important things to do. putting them down in front of an episode of adventure time would keep them occupied. he had phone calls to make.

"are you sure youre safe, wil?"

"yes dad, do you want me to give the phone to techno?"

"please" phil was near wringing his hands. his heart was racing 100mph and he was worried out of his mind. the monotone voice of the boy on the other end of the line snapped him out of his frozen trance.

"...dad? dad are you there? did you have a heart attack?"

"no, no sorry, hey techno" phil was falling asleep on his feet.

"hey dad, whats up?"

"hows the sleepover? the boys and i have been working endlessly to get everything ready."

"its decent, were just brushing our teeth now"

their conversation ended as breifly as it had began and phils mind felt at rest. he went in to check on tommy and tubbo and saw the boys asleep, resting on eachother. he took the two up to bed and fell asleep in his clothes, happy that he was ready to face the next day.


	9. midnight drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wilbur and schlatt are happy with their decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// SUICIDE AND SUICIDAL IDEATION, DELIBERATE CAR CRASH, ALCOHOL MENTION
> 
> please remember if you are experiencing these thoughts that you are not alone, even if you feel like you are. if youre in a bad mindset at the moment please dont read this chapter, you can always come back to it later.

"we got rid of all the bottles right?"

"yeah, its gonna look like theyre my mom's"

wilbur and schlatt sat in the car. for the first time in a while the both of them were sober. completely sober. they had deliberately made sure they hadnt drank anything for a whole 24 hours. schlatt hadnt even smoked, they wanted this to look like the perfect accident. falling asleep at the wheel. the last thing they wanted was for their families to have their memories tainted because they left a bottle of vodka under schlatts bed. 

the two drove and spoke for hours. talking about their regrets, their best memories, what they'll miss most, what they would have looked forward to. they werent scared, not at all. they had made their choice and they would be stupid to regret it now. 

they came to a mountain. schlatt drove into the car park and stopped the car in the furthest corner. they both got out and sat on top of the car, looking at the hundreds of thousands of stars that lit up the night sky. wilbur felt the thousands of bright eyes staring down at him, waiting to see the finale of the unfinished symphonies that were their lives. wilbur felt that he would be totally at peace if he could float out into space and peacefully drift off as the oxygen starvation took hold and the cold of space froze his blood in his veins. 

he was aware of schlatt talking, but he didnt register any of it. 

"...fucking tell me you took something dude, wed have to wait another day to do this"

"what- no! no, i was just, thinking about this"

"understandable"

the two of them remained in that spot until they decided to keep driving. this time, however, they allowed themselves to admit things theyd never thought theyd grt the chance to.

schlatt admitted he didnt actually like the taste of vodka. wilbur admitted he hated the taste of cigarettes. schlatt admitted he never actually liked anyone. wilbur admitted he had never gone on more than three dates.

the two of them drove in silence for the last ten minutes. when they were sure they were the only car on the road they smiled at eachother, confident that this decision was what they wanted.

"remember when we were kids we had this imaginary world we would pretend we were presidents of?"

"yeah, i had just moved here and you were the only person who would talk to me"

"what was it called, i cant fucking remember-"

"manburg! ah, god that was such a fun game"

"no, it was L'manburg" wilbur insisted, stressing the 'L'

the two reminisced on their childhood game and they recalled how the game ended. wilbur would always blow it up and the two of them would always die

and they were about to go out the same way their beloved made-up nation did.

schlatt let go of the wheel, and wilbur finally let go of the tears he didnt know he was holding back.


	10. authors note!

thanks for reading part one! 

genuinely, im a bit freaked out people saw this and read it tbh.

this has made me feel alot better. idk when im gonna write pt 2 but it will be written!

again, thanks for readinf this

\+ i wrote an alternative ending to the last chapter, you dont have to read it bc its a completely one-off that would have ended the story there but that wasnt the plan.


	11. midnight drive alternate end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> decided to write an alternate end where the schlatt and wilbur decide to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL OF THIS IS PLATONIC!!!! KEEP ANY SHIPS OUT OF HERE!!   
> tw/ food, breif mention of alcohol, suicidal ideation but backing out, non-destructive fire

"we got rid of all the bottles right?"

"yeah, its gonna look like theyre my mom's"

wilbur and schlatt sat in the car. for the first time in a while the both of them were sober. completely sober. they had deliberately made sure they hadnt drank anything for a whole 24 hours. schlatt hadnt even smoked, they wanted this to look like the perfect accident. falling asleep at the wheel. the last thing they wanted was for their families to have their memories tainted because they left a bottle of vodka under schlatts bed. 

the two drove and spoke for hours. talking about their regrets, their best memories, what they'll miss most, what they would have looked forward to. they werent scared, not at all. they had made their choice and they would be stupid to regret it now. 

they came to a mountain. schlatt drove into the car park and stopped the car in the furthest corner. they both got out and sat on top of the car, looking at the hundreds of thousands of stars that lit up the night sky. wilbur felt the thousands of bright eyes staring down at him, waiting to see the finale of the unfinished symphonies that were their lives. wilbur felt that he would be totally at peace if he could float out into space and peacefully drift off as the oxygen starvation took hold and the cold of space froze his blood in his veins. 

he was aware of schlatt talking, but he didnt register any of it. 

"...fucking tell me you took something dude, wed have to wait another day to do this"

"what- no! no, i was just, thinking about this"

"understandable"

the two sat in silence for another few minutes, before wilbur spoke.

"schlatt.."

"what is it?"

"i dont think i can do this." wilbur suddenly felt a rush of guilt and fear. he didnt realise it would be this difficult. he thought he was happy with his choice, he didnt expect for the thought of the look on his family's face when they learn of his death to suddenly rush into his brain.

"whys that?"

"i- i just-"

schlatt heard tears and panic rise in his friends voice.

"wilbur, dude, take your time. focus on breathing"

after a moment of breathing, wilbur spoke again.

"i can't do this to my family. i cant, i cant get the fucking image of their faces when they find out out of my head. i dont think i, i dont think i want to go"

"thats totally okay dude, whatever you need to do, wanna head back to mine?"

"sure"

the two got back into schlatts car. the time on the dash read 11:26pm. the two sat in silence as schlatt drove them in the direction of his house, stopping at a tesco on the way. 

once at schlatts house, the two went into the kitchen, unloading shopping bags into the cupboards. for the first time in a while there was no alcohol in the bags of groceries. when they had gotten everything put away, schlatt pulled a cake out from the fridge. a chocolate cake, the same colour as wilburs hair, with the words "happy birthday, wilbur" written on it in messy yellow icing.

"oh my fucking god, schlatt-"

"its almost your birthday dude, i made this before you told me about uh, yeah. anyways, there are exactly twenty seconds until midnight which means twenty seconds until you turn 17!"

schlatt lit the candles and moved so wilbur could stand in front of the cake.

as it turned midnight, wilbur blew the candles out.


End file.
